The Diet Naked Blog

Half of her

Hey, I'm sure you all read Half of Me, right?  Jennette has lost half of her body weight and not only that, but she talked about it on the Today Show last week. 

Cool, right?  Well, next week, I'll be giving away a copy of her brand new weight-loss memoir called Half-Assed, a weight-loss memoir and posting an interview with Jennette.  And this is no canned interview.  No, sir-ee-bob.  I'm going to ask her actual real questions.

And that's where you come in. 

Do you have any questions you'd like to ask?  Post them in the comments below and I'll try to work them in.  Oh, and to make it even more interesting, how about I choose the winner of her book by random drawing of those who comment on this post?  How about that?   Want to win a free book?  Leave a question for Jennette or just a comment for me (something like, "Mel, you are so pretty!" will do). 

On your mark, get set, go!

(Oh, and yeah, I'm half-way through the book and I love it.  So will you.)

Official Thursday Weigh-In

I like to think that I'm on my way back down the scale.  Today I weighed in at 184.4, which is a loss of more than a pound and a half since last week.  I still can't quite accept that I'm in the 180s--the death of my previous scale and the new numbers on this scale seem so unfair--but it is what it is.  Only numbers, right?

Would you like to weigh in now, too? 

Dear Self

Dear Mel,

Okay, so you've gained some weight.  It happens.  Even Oprah with her personal trainers and millions of dollars and absence of children can't keep her weight steady.  Stop making yourself crazy with the recriminations and hateful looks in the mirror. 

Even with a thicker waist, you're still the same person.  You get that, right?  You haven't turned into some hairy troll that lurks under bridges, waiting to eat billy-goats who clip-clop close enough.  Your brain is the same, you can still spell hard words like Constantinople and your friends still think your jokes are funny.  Your husband adores you.

So, get a grip.  Knock it off with the self-loathing.

What would happen if you stayed this weight until you die?  Would that be the worst thing in the world?  Would you turn into a hermit, abandon your friends, ignore your children and crawl under the bed?  Of course not!  (You can't fit under the bed, for one thing.) 

So, you'll never be a fashion model.  (Newsflash:  No matter what you weigh, that's not going to happen.)

You'll never wear a size zero.  (If you did, it would be as you passed size zero on the way to size dead.  Perhaps you didn't notice this, but your bones are bigger than a size zero.)

You'll never be crowned Miss America.   (Admit it--you wouldn't want to enter a pageant even if you were skinny.)

So what?  Was that your intent in the first place?  Your goal? 

No.  It wasn't.  You just wanted to shop in the "regular" section of stores.  You wanted to accept an invitation to see an old friend without being mortified by your weight.  You wanted to improve your health. 

Now, if you don't get it together and SOON, you're going to gain back weight a pound at a time.  And one day you'll be too afraid to step on the scale at all.  And then, before you know it, you'll be over 200 pounds again . . . and who knows what will happen after that?

I only say this because I want what is best for you.  Okay, sure, maybe life is crazy right now, but try to make good choices most of the time.  Exercise--I love those X's on the calendar--you're exercising more days than not.  Focus on the positive and shun the donuts.  When you feel crazy and  hear that "what can I eat" voice screaming in your head . . . just stop.  Take a breath.  Be in control.

No matter what, remember that you are more than your body.  You are a soul, just living inside a temporary body for now.  You are not your body . . . but still, you should take better care of it, just so you can make the most of every day and every situation.  Remember, you want to be able to run around with your grandkids in twenty years, not hobble around clutching a cane.

Life is short.  Do your best.  Be nice to yourself.

And stop eating french fries.  They are making you fat.

Love,
Mel

Tardy Official Thursday Weigh-In

Oops. 

I did weigh in and I suppose if I'd had terrific success, I wouldn't have forgotten to post my weight.  Sigh.

So, I'm 186.  Is that a pound higher?  I am just disgusted and annoyed.  Also?  I kind of hate my new scale, but my old scale died a sudden death, so I can't positively confirm that my scales are wildly out of sync.  I'm still wearing the same pants, so how can I be so much fatter?

Do you want to check in?  Check in now, if you want.

About the streak

Well, my streak ended before it really got underway.  But, here's what I'm doing instead:  on my bathroom calendar, I am marking an X on day I exercise.  That will at least give me a visual reminder and a way to track my exercise.

I took my children to meet my husband at the ocean where he was speaking at a retreat.  We arrived Saturday in the early afternoon and spent a quick 24 hours there.  I dragged along my family to walk along the shore--something I could do for miles, but they have the stamina and interest to last only a mile or so.  Drat!  I did find an elusive unbroken sand dollar, so there's that.

Also?  Because we were at a retreat, eating the food pre-ordered and prepared for us, I ate a horrible diet.  We arrived in time for lunch which was a giant hamburger and fries and onion rings.  That's it.  no fruit, no salad, no other options.  So I ate a burger.

Dinner was a turkey roast, rice dishes, cornbread and dessert (I'm not sure what it was--sort of a breadish cake).  Oh, and corn.  I ate the turkey and a little bit of corn, but what's a girl to do?  Oh, there was a small salad, which, of course, I ate.

Sunday was the worst, though.  Breakfast was a gigantic white pancake, bacon and sausage.  Maybe in my past I wouldn't have thought twice, but as I ate half that pancake (with strawberries on it), I thought, "My blood sugar is going to spike and crash." 

Throwing all caution to the wind, I treated the kids to ice cream before we left the ocean.  And I had my own little bowl.

And then, on the two hour drive home, we ate the "box lunches" that were provided to us--turkey on white bread, chips and a sad looking red apple.  I hate red apples.  So, I moved all the turkey to half the bread and had a half sandwich with double the turkey--and then I ate the chips.

Why am I telling you all this?  It's certainly not riveting reading.  Sorry.  I can't help myself.

I'm back home now.  I have my bowl of oatmeal here, ready to eat.  I'm going to eat carefully today.  I'm going to get some exercise.

Also, I'm going to weigh in on Thursdays again.  Call me superstitious, but I like weighing in better on Thursdays than Tuesdays. 

Hope you had a good weekend!

Exercise Streak?

Well, I guess I've started another exercise streak.  I have four days behind me. 

And today, I ate really healthy . . . until I just made the poor decision to eat two cookies right before bed.  I know.  I lose my mind this late at night. 

However, tomorrow's a new day and I am feeling less wobbly, more ready to do the right thing.

And, I have those four days of exercise completed.  Good for me.

Exercise streaking seems to be the best way for me to maintain an exercise routine.  Otherwise, it's so easy to convince myself that I can put off exercise until tomorrow . . . and as they say, tomorrow never comes.

I wish I could go outside and walk, but my life is impossible right now.  Next fall, though, my daughter goes to kindergarten and for the first time in fifteen years, I'll have a tiny bit of freedom since all my kids will be either in school or doing school at home (my teenagers) and old enough to stay home alone.  I imagine dropping my daughter off at school and spending those few hours she's gone (half-day kindergarten!) working out.

Meanwhile, I have an exercise bike and I'm going to use it. 

Official Tuesday Weigh-In

I'm developing superstitions, telling myself that if I went back to weighing myself on Thursdays, all would be well.

Also, my 5-year old daughter who has no body issues weighed herself on my new scale and it reflected a weight 7 pounds higher than on the old (now broken) scale.

All the same, I was unhappy to see 185 on the scale this morning. 

So, let's talk about something else.  How about books?

Several books have been sent to me for my review.  I have wanted to bake a recipe from each book and tell you about it.  I've wanted to follow the instructions for sculpting my body using the BONUS! WORKOUT DVD INCLUDED, but I have not.  These books sit near my desk taunting me, so I am just going to tell you about them and be done with it.

The Big Book of Diabetic Desserts by Jackie Mills, MS, RD
I love the look and feel of this book.  It's a big soft-cover, the kind that will easily stay opened on your counter-top. 

As the title says, these recipes are designed with diabetics in mind.  They are meant to be a compromise between "disappointing sugar-free, fat-free desserts and sugar-laden, high-calorie sweets."  The categories include:

Great Cakes
Quick Breads
Sweetie Pies
Smart Tarts
Fruity Desserts
Custards and Puddings
Cookies & Bars
Pleasers from the Freezer

The Eat-Clean Diet Workout by Tosca Reno
Like her previous books, this one is a beautifully illustrated book.  This book appears to be comprehensive and may be quite possibly the next-best thing to having a personal trainer.  I have hope that I will one day sit down (on my exercise bike?) and read this book cover to cover and then put it into practice.  It comes with a handy-dandy bonus workout DVD.  I need to pop that thing into the DVD player and get busy.  (I'll let you know when I go from thinking about it to doing it.)  I do believe that following a weight-training program like the one Reno details in this book is essential to my fitness plan. 

Dr. Gott's No Flour No Sugar COOKBOOK by Peter H. Gott, MD
I like this cookbook a lot.  It's divided into two sections.  Part I explains how to thrive on the No Flour, No Sugar Diet.  (He has written a book with that title.)  The second part, the majority of the book, is devoted to recipes.  He divides them into categories:  Breakfast, Snacks, Appetizers, Soups, Salads, Wraps, Entrees, Side Dishes and Desserts.

I did bake a recipe from this book, the Banana Oat Muffins.  The texture was very good and, although they were significantly less sweet than  a typical muffin, I liked them a lot.  (I am a big fan of muffins.)  The recipes in this book are straightforward and call for common ingredients.  The sweetener he recommends is Splenda, my favorite sweetener.  I think this is a cookbook I will definitely use.  (And my family won't even know that I am cooking "healthy" for them.)

How Not To Look Old by Charla Krupp
Check our her website and you'll find out all you need to know about this book.   She promises "fast and effortless ways to look 10 years younger, 10 pounds lighter and 10 times better."  I'm thinking that I ought to read this book and quick!   I'm fairly low maintenance, but as I age, perhaps I ought to rethink that strategy.   

* * *
Okay, that's it.  I can cross that off my non-existent to-do list and stop feeling guilty about it.

Meanwhile, those of you who are losing weight will want to check in . . . and those of us who aren't, will NOT want to, but we will anyway because that's what we ought to do. 

Perfectionism and the search for acceptance

In response to a comment this week from someone who said I am too hard on myself, I thought perhaps they were unaware of my massive failures, of my many flaws and imperfections big and small.  I thought maybe they didn't realize that instead of reaching my ultimate goal of weighing 150 pounds (and living happily ever after) that I stalled at 170 p0unds for a year and then gained ten pounds.  Who am I kidding?  I have gained ten pounds, regardless of the change in scales and my denial of reality.  (The voice in my head looks at the image in the mirror and tells me that I am FAT, very very fat.)

Then I wondered if my commenter is right.  Am I too hard on myself?  I almost laughed out loud when I trip over that elephant in my living room, the perfectionist in me which has not only resurrected but has convinced me that I am an utter failure because I am not successfully losing weight. 

I am all or nothing.  I am either Good or Bad.  I am either succeeding or failing.  I can hold contradictory complex ideas in my head, yet I cannot wrap my mind around the idea that I am more than my waistline and that gaining ten pounds does not mean I may as well jump off the nearest dock into a deep, deep lake.

Here's something else to consider:  maybe this journey is about more than shedding fat and fitting into smaller jeans.  Maybe I ought to deal with the issues that bubble up, with the mean voices in my head that sneer at me when I eat a cookie instead of riding an exercise bike.  It's easier to restrict my diet than it is to embrace my imperfections.  It's easier to make rules about what I am allowed to chew than to even look my flaws in the face.

I have joked for years that I'm a recovering perfectionist.  I think the truth is that my inner perfectionist is wrestling for control, insisting that if I don't do everything just right, if I don't avoid every mistake that I am a complete failure.  My inner perfectionist is a bully.

I need to live in the gray area between black and white.  I need to find a comfortable place to sit in the land of forgiveness instead of forever poking myself with a sharp stick in the eye when I think I've fallen short.

Baby Steps

It is true, what someone said in comments.  When I started this diet on April 16, 2006, I had a no-nonsense, no-excuses approach.  I didn't eat a cookie for a good six months.  I never dreamed of eating the stray french fries from the bottom of the McDonald's bag.  I was Good, very very Good.

I've veered away from that stringent approach, perhaps inevitably. 

Yet, I know that most of the time I need to avoid processed foods (white flour and white sugar in particular) to be healthy.

So, for today, I'm doing all right. 

I had oatmeal for breakfast.
Big salad with tuna and light Italian dressing for lunch.
A "healthy" granola bar for a mid-afternoon snack.
An egg-white and spinach concoction for dinner.
One square of dark chocolate.
A sugar-free pudding.

I intend to have fat-free popcorn while I watch Survivor tonight and then possibly a South Beach ricotta dessert (thanks, Sandy, for mentioning that the other day). 

And than I can congratulate myself on having a reasonable day of healthy eating.

I did not exercise, today, which is unfortunate.  But one thing at a time.

Just so you know

I think what I need to do is read my blog from start to finish because I think I used to be a lot smarter.

And tomorrow, TOMORROW I will eat what I should, no excuses, or die trying.

If you were me, I would tell you to GET IT TOGETHER, CHICK!